“If we can save $100 mill, f*ck custmores, make more money! 34 deaths is well below acceptable casualty level. Today America, tomorrow the world!” This internal e-mail was allegedly leaked from deep within the inner sanctum of Toyota’s US president, Jim Lentz, and CC’d to all top level Toyota executives including Akio Toyoda, grandson of Toyota’s founder, and currently the president of Toyota Motor Corp.. “Shame on you, Toyota for being so greedy!” Rhonda Smith, a victim of Toyota’s neglect, cried angrily at a recent congressional hearing. She was voicing America’s rage at Toyota’s preference for obscene profits over the safety of their customers. This was one of just three congressional hearings held recently in Washington to determine what is to be done about Toyota specifically, and the automobile industry in general, to protect Americans from dying needlessly in their cars.
But there has been a cloud of suspicion around these hearings, as it was revealed that the automobile behemoth made massive contributions to over 40% of the congressman who are supposed to be investigating them, including head of the U.S. Senate committee on Commerce, Science and transportation, Jay Rockefeller of West Virginia.
“No need to worry about senators and congressmen, we bought and paid for those greedy *ssholes like the high class old man ho’s they are!” This from another internal e-mail allegedly passed all around the top executives and board members of Toyota, even as they apologize, and claim to be embarrassed in front of Congress.
“We have not lived up to the high standards our customers and the public have come to expect from Toyota,” Toyota president Lentz said before Congress. Many doubt the sincerity of the apology, in light of the fact that he insisted in front of the House Energy and Commerce Committee hearing that the problem was caused by misplaced mats and pedal mechanisms, and not from much more serious electronic/computer problems which cause automobiles to accelerate, while helpless drivers try in vain and terror to stop them. However, when a 2008 Toyota raced out of control and killed four people in South Lake, a suburb of Dallas Texas, the floor mats were in the trunk. Again, this matter was allegedly discussed in an e-mail within Toyota.
“Of course, we know it’s the computers causing runaway cars, but we made nice nice with National Highway Transportation Safety Administration, and they totally bought the floor mat/pedal bs. Suddenly unintended acceleration! Nice spin, gentlemen!”
Sadly, it’s all starting to seem like a bad Hollywood movie, where you can’t tell the difference between the pillar of the community superstar lawmakers and the greedy corporate killers. Only in this sordid scenario there’s no Batman to swoop in and kill the Joker. In real life, the Jokers are laughing all the way to the bank.