I was just going through my back pages on my website, I found this very cool link to an interview. I’m not sure if I posted this here yet, but this is by Violet Blue. I shared a bed with her and San Francisco during Lit Quake. As part of a night of erotica at which I was the master of ceremonies. She was extremely saucy and extravagantly smart. Then I was recently in Richmond Virginia doing a gig with the James Valley Writing Group, Slash, and Valley Haggard, I was in my hotel room I turned on the TV, and BOOM! There was Violet Blue on Oprah, being all smart and sexy.

http://www.tinynibbles.com/blogarchives/2009/11/the-industrial-sex-technician-an-interview-with-david-henry-sterry.html

The industrial sex technician: An interview with David Henry Sterry

In my recent SF Chronicle column I had the exciting opportunity to interview David Henry Sterry — after being wowed by sharing a stage with him at Supperclub. His answers had me and my editor at the Chron doing a double take; here Sterry confronts sex work from every angle. I’d love to someday see video interviews with many of his subjects, running the gamut. Instead of the usual tropes, we’d see some really interesting stories, I think. Here’s a snip from The Ultimate Dirty Job – Violet Blue: David Henry Sterry’s new book reality checks sex work in America:

The Discovery TV series “Dirty Jobs” with Mike Rowe covers all manner of occupations full of filthy, fascinating hazards. While a stint in a sexier spectrum of employment would hold just as much peril, (and equal fascination), I doubt we’ll ever see Rowe learning to sling a whip for a night at The Gates. Because it’s “a dirty job, but someone’s gotta (and going to) do it” — sex work in all its permutations is a prime subject for hands-on storytelling.

The problem is, it’s only ever told from one side of the coin or the other: rose-colored glasses, or the victim’s tale. Yet since the nonfiction essay collection “Hos, Hookers, Call Girls and Rent Boys” edited by David Henry Sterry hit the bookshelves, the NYT’s rave review list, and landed in my hot little reader’s hands, that’s all changed. Sterry is up for showing every angle of the world’s oldest profession. It’s absolutely riveting — and poised to change the cultural conversation about work for sex in an honest, unflinching cocktail of real-life stories that go down like a mix of sweetened poison and intellectual jet fuel.

After reading with Sterry for Litquake‘s now-infamous Supperclub SF Readings In Bed, I cornered him for the real dirt on “Hos, Hookers, Call Girls and Rent Boys.”

Violet Blue: What drove you to pick the range of sex work covered in “Hos”?
David Henry Sterry: Right now in these great United States, in every major metropolis, there are people at the very bottom of the food chain, who are basically sex slaves, being exploited in the worst ways imaginable by the most vile evil predators. And there are women, men and transsexuals who are over the age of 18, in full command of all their faculties, and are choosing to use their body and their brain to make money in the sex business. And the crazy thing is, these two sides have a hard time acknowledging the truth of the other. So I tried in my own small way, to document all voices.

I had no political axe to grind: if you worked in the sex business, and you had a story to tell, and you had the skill to tell it, you were welcome in our book. As a result, I have writing by 15-year-old girls who were raped, beaten, burned, starved, degraded and exploited by the worst scum of the earth. And I have women who used sex work to pay for their master of fine arts degree at Berkeley. And everything in between: Working class, meat-and-potatoes sex workers; fabulous rent boys; phone-sex operators; former Olympic athletes; undereducated and overeducated.

VB: You are a former sex worker — what kind of work did you do?

DHS: I was an industrial sex technician, which is my preferred term for the work, for nine months — one human gestation period — when I was 17 years old, living in Hollywood, and studying existentialism at Immaculate Heart College in Hollywood, California. I worked mostly with women, although I did, toward the end of my career, get paid to verbally and physically humiliate men. One of them was a judge. He came out of the bathroom in his judge’s robe. Underneath he was wearing a diaper. Even at 17, this made me seriously question the American judicial system.

This anthology, as it is, could only have happened because I used to be in “The Life”. One of the chief advantages to being an ex-ho myself is that I’m tapped into many of the networks that we have. All the best hos I know are excellent networkers. Netsexworkers. Plus, I was invited to teach a writing workshop with people in San Francisco who had been arrested for prostitution. Many of them were, or had been, drug addicts. I did this for two years, once a week. So I became friends with this population, from the poorest parts of America, as well.

Then I got invited by the United States Dept. of Justice to come to Washington for a Survivors Conference, leading this writing workshop with all these young women who had been savaged in the sex business. These are voices it would be virtually impossible to get if you were not in fact someone who had been in the business. But I was determined to show America the human face of all the people in the sex business, to get people to understand that we are sisters and brothers, aunts and uncles, cousins, grandmothers, dads and moms. I would never have gotten the opportunity to do this, if I hadn’t come out myself as a sex worker.

When I got into that room, to run that writing workshop in Washington, with all those diamond-hard girls, they laughed at me, made fun of me. But then when I told them my story, all of a sudden they wanted to tell their stories. Over and over I’ve seen the healing properties of telling your story while putting this book together. And if I hadn’t first done this myself, struggled for years to try to tell my story, then finally to come out of the sex-worker closet, I wouldn’t have been able to help other people do it.

VB: What’s the most unforgettable story in the book?

DHS: Well, my own of course, because it happened to me. You don’t easily forget executing some extremely challenging cunnilingus on an 82-year-old woman. But as I look beyond the narcissistic shackles of myself, it’s hard for me to single one out, because the stories have become like my children. I don’t want to disrespect any of them. I love them all, even the worst of them.

In “My Daughter is a Prostitute” this woman keeps trying to explain to her Russian mother that she’s a dominatrix, that she doesn’t actually have sex with men. But her mother just will not understand, keeps saying over and over again, “My daughter is a prostitute.” “It’s a Shame About Ray” by Bay Area luminary Kirk Read, is a funny, poignant beautiful piece of writing. I could go on, but I won’t.

VB: What will people be most shocked by in these stories?

DHS: I think “Raped 97 Times” is horrifying. There’s also a very, very disturbing story by a great, great Bay Area writer, Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore. And there’s a story in the back of the book by a woman who is trying to kick heroin. Her mom comes and visits her, and shoots up in front of her, tells her, “Too bad you can’t try any cuz yer pregnant.” That piece is called “Thanks A Lot.” And of course the most disturbing is a piece by a woman who has become my friend, Jessica Bertucci, it’s called “Helping Daddy Pay the Rent.” Enough said.

VB: The need for sex and the need for money is blurred throughout many of the very real stories in this collection. Why did you make that choice as an editor?

DHS: In the exchange of sex for money, a window in the soul opens. I want people to take a peek. I’m fascinated by what happens when love, power, money, sex, obsession, and God knows what else all collide, usually in a small room. I think people make the mistake, when they’re writing about this subject, and in fact generally speaking when the write about sex, of focusing on the sex organs. I’m much more interested in how these encounters affect people mentally, spiritually, emotionally, how it changes them as human beings. And of course as everyone knows, the most important sexual organ is located not between the legs, but between the ears.

VB: As an aside, I’m curious: how do you think this all relates to the client fairytale-fantasy of having their sex worker fall in love with them and “leave the life for true love”?

DHS: “Sir Save-A-Ho,” is one variation on that theme. It’s a story in the book by a very gifted writer and filmmaker, Juliana Piccillo, about this very subject. In it, a vice cop kind of tries to save her when she’s a 17-year-old massage parlor girl. But yes, those Julia Roberts/Richard Gere/Pretty Woman fairy tales are so powerful. If anything, I’m afraid this book might make clients realize how profoundly these industrial sex technicians just want to get P-A-I-D. As my employment counselor/pimp used to say to me, the three most important rules of the world of sex for money are: 1) Get the money up front; 2) Get The Money Up Front!; and 3) GET THE MONEY UP FRONT!!!

“Hos, Hookers, Call Girls, and Rent Boys: Professionals Writing on Life, Love, Money, and Sex” by David Henry Sterry (with R. J. Martin Jr.) is available thanks to cutting edge publisher Soft Skull Press.

Big thanks to Sterry for taking time out to answer my nerrrrrdy questions on an irrational schedule.

Violet Blue

The London Times named Violet Blue “One of the 40 bloggers who really count” and Self Magazine named TinyNibbles one of the “Best Sex Resources for Women.” Blue is an author and journalist on sex and technology, hacking and security, porn for women, privacy and bleeding-edge tech culture. She is a columnist for Engadget; she’s an educator, speaker, crisis counselor, volunteer NGO trainer, and the author and editor of over 40 award-winning books. Blue is also an advisor for Without My Consent, as well as a member of the Internet Press